I Love You Pi

Happy Birthday Gpa Jones!!!

2009-04-06T20:39:00.000-07:00

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Just a few outtakes....

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How do I know I picked a winner?

2008-06-10T21:02:00.001-07:00

Because he always takes time to read his children a book, give them a cuddle, jump with them on the tramp.

Because he loves to hear our funny story in the middle of his busy day.

Because when he’s at a dinner conference, he remembers to bring me home a dessert and tells me he wishes I were there.

Because he would rather be with his family than anyone else.

Because he shows his children that above all, he loves and respects their mother.

Because he makes up his own strange bedtime stories for the boys that seem to have a surprising moral twist in the end.

Because when he makes a return, he usually gives me the store credit because he knows I’ll like it.

Because he teaches his sons how to do things and how to work.

Because he always backs me. We are a united front.

Because he lets me read aloud to him on long road trips.

Because when I’ve had enough, he supports me going for a drive.

Because he always encourages me in anything I want to learn to do.

Because he plants beautiful flowers in our backyard and tells me that he plants them for me.

Because he can fix things.

Because he makes each of his children feel special and has a great relationship with each of them.

Because he works so hard, yet never looses sight of who he is doing it all for and what is truly important.

Because he knows me better than I know myself, and that still catches me off guard.

Because he can fall asleep in the middle of a sentence.

Because he includes me in all important decisions and respects my input.

Because he is the only man I know that will join in during a silly song or dance with no shame.

Because he is the king of pun, always clever with his mocking word play.

Because he loves politics more than sports, though he can hold his own during any sports game. The guy is very coordinated.

Because he loves to share entrees with me when we go out to dinner.

Because he would promise me the moon if he thought he could deliver.

Because he is just adorable in every possible manly way.

Because sometimes it seems like our day never truly begins until he is home.

Because he is ours and we could never have another.

Minsky, Minn, Minnie, Malynn

2008-06-08T23:14:00.000-07:00

About a week ago I had the pleasure of having my first date alone with you while our boys were up in the mountains. You have always been such joy to me. But this particular night while we shared our fancy gelato, and you said hello to all the passersby, taking our own sweet time as the moon rose, I felt something special. Perhaps I caught a glimpse of the many memories that we are going to make together.

You and me, girl. This was a first of many.
I love you, my sweetheart.

and our summer begins...

2008-06-03T13:26:00.000-07:00

swim lessons... my saving grace this summer.

the entrepreneur

2008-05-12T21:52:00.000-07:00

advertising expenses.... 0 dollars

salesmanship training.... 0 dollars

product to be sold.... 0 dollars

being entertained for three solid hours outside?.... priceless

and somehow he came inside with $4.50 in his pocket.

a little quick math tells me that selling rocks is very profitable.

Because it's Mother's Day

2008-05-10T22:31:00.000-07:00

Thirty two reasons why I love you, one for every year that you've been my mother.

1. Because you sniff your pillow every time you make your bed and you pack it in your suitcase everywhere you go.

2. Because for years you came on every backpacking trip with us, even though for you it probably wasn't fun since you did all the cooking.

3. Because you tucked me in at night, even sometimes as a teenager and always told me that I was special and truly loved while you scratched my back.

4. Because you let me drop out of pep club after only one month of hating it even though we had just paid for the whole year.

5. Because you took me out of school to get our haircuts together and go to lunch afterward. I felt so lucky.

6. Because in third grade, you started 'brown bagging' for my class. Every Wednesday if kids had finished a book, they could bring a lunch and eat in the classroom and tell the others about the book. I was able to come every Wednesday because I was your daughter and I felt very privileged.

7. Because you let me have sleepovers with Liz anytime we asked.

8. Because you rewarded me for being honest by not punishing me when I carved deep holes into our brand new wooden deck with my younger brothers.

9. Because you let me call you every week while I was in Jerusalem because I was homesick and needed to hear your voice. We would talk for over an hour and I know the bill was awful.

10. Because you always talked me through the dating dramas convincing me that I didn't realize how incredible I was and that I worthy of someone that was out there preparing himself for me.

11. Because you always kept the mentality that anything is possible. Your vision helped me get to Europe, UCLA, Jerusalem, and my MA degree.

12. Because you never made me turn out the light when I was reading into the wee hours of the morning.

13. Because you always let me sleep in your bed whenever Dad was gone for military or a conference.

14. Because you've always been my best shopping partner, lunch date, and phone call.

15. Because you didn't think I was completely insane when I knew I was in love, in the for real and for forever sense, after only three dates with Jamie.

16. Because you drove all the way to LA with me one afternoon to look at wedding dresses when I wasn't even officially engaged yet.

17. Because you share your most personal thoughts and feelings with me and know that they are safe.

18. Because you have taught me what being a great wife looks like, how to support your husband and put your marriage above all else. It's amazing how in love you and Dad still are after all these years.

19. Because of all the nights I could hear you giggling in your room as Dad walked around berating and making fun of himself. Oh, Dad. You're the best.

20. Because you came to every drill competition and dance performance I ever did.

21. Because when it came to high school romances, you knew I could do better.

22. Because you cried when my little family moved, but were so proud at the same time.

23. Because for every one of my children's birthdays you call to remind me of the special day that I gave birth to this child.

24. Because you love my children and love to hear every minute detail that I can remember to tell you about them.

25. Because you stay up till midnight watching cheesy movies like Pollyanna with me and cry at the same parts.

26. Because you've shown me how to serve others selflessly. When anything good happens to me, I want to call you and tell you about it because of how encouraging and giving you are. You make everyone feel good.

27. Because you drag yourself to the gym everday not because you think your ever going to obtain a model figure, but because you want to be healthy and feel good.

28. Because you never complained about Dad when we were kids and he was at the hospital. You would tell us at the dinner table how hard our Dad was working for us so that we could do our soccer/ballet/ski lessons. You taught us that he was a hero.

29. Because when you come to my house, you roll up your sleeves and dig in to the diaper-changing, meal-planning, laundry-sorting madness that is ours.

30. Because of how lovingly you cared for your parents these last ten years as they were aging and slowly unable to care for themselves.

31. Because you taught me about prayer. Even as a young girl, I remember the prayer I said every night. "Please bless that we can sell our lot so we can go to Disneyland." I didn't even know what the 'lot' was, just knew it needed to go.

32. Because to this day you are my mom and my best friend rolled into one perfect, 5'5" person. I'm so lucky to have you.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom

Flowers Schmowers

2008-05-09T09:50:00.000-07:00

About two weeks ago while Jamie and I were lying in bed I confessed my wish for mother's day this year. I told him no chocolates, no flowers, not even a card; all I wanted was an afternoon off to do whatever I wanted by myself. "you got it, babe." was all he said, and boy did he deliver. From 10:00 on I had the whole day to myself to go anywhere and I didn't have to take anyone with me! I tell you, I felt like a sixteen year-old driving across town for the first time behind the wheel. The freedom was so exhilirating! I even claimed my own theme song for the day- New Soul by Yael Naim- and drove with my windows down and a dopey grin on my face. Aaaah. I'm not going to spend any energy justifying and defending how I do love my kids and being a mother and whatever. Everyone who knows me knows how devoted a mother I am, but once in a while a girl's gotta have a break. And I for one have especially always needed some alone time. It's how I refuel.

So how did I spend my time, you ask? I thought about shopping, pedicure, seeing a movie, and even taking my bood gookie (anyone ever read The River Why?) to Barnes and Noble to find a quiet corner to myself and spend the afternoon reading. It all sounded divine. Believe it or not, I mustered up the courage to call some ladies to meet me for lunch. To make the calls I had to wait until all my children were napping so I didn't have any background noise to distract. The turnout was amazing! So instead of eating alone, I had a delightful lunch full of fun conversation with some wonderful women. This may sound ridiculous, but I was surprised at how happy everyone seemed to be invited. Here I was nervous to ask them and playing the whatif game in my head, and as it turned out everyone was glad to be included in the plan. Big step for me! ... and of course I threw a little shopping in before and after lunch too! At the end of the day I was very happy to see my babies again. And he got me flowers anyway.

all over but the shoutin'

2008-05-06T21:23:00.000-07:00

I took a nap this afternoon (loved it) and had this strangely real dream. It felt so real that I woke up feeling all uncomfortable and sick to my stomach a little bit. All I really remember is that I'm driving in my car with my three kids (who sounded more like a gaggle of hyped up geese in my ear). The next thing I know is that I'm deciding to drive down this super nice pier over some body of water and in my mind I know that it leads to this amazingly quaint little boutique/cafe/hangout area to which I must be crazy to bring my gaggle. I reach the end of the pier and realize with horror that I need to reverse back and almost kill us by driving backwards like an overly medicated senior with a led foot. Rather than driving us into the deep blue, instead I plow into a statue. Next thing I know, I'm explaining my actions to an authority figure of some sort, apologizing and promising that I will pay for the damages. The anxiety is flowing through my veins while realizing that a) I don't have the money to pay for the damages, and b) my children have somehow climbed out of the car and are whoopin' and hollerin' like it's nobodies business while extremely white and well-ironed people are shaking their heads and waggling their manicured fingers and mumbling to each other who is their mother and why does she obviously not care that they are a-whoopin' and a-hollerin' so dangerously close to the waters edge. (I love run-on sentences.) In the back of my mind I think it would serve them right to fall right off the edge, I'm so mad they can't ever just sit there like other people's kids, while I'm stuck in this painful conversation. I woke up with the panic lingering as well as a little frustration with my kids and the fear that maybe I really don't know how to drive worth crap. Ugh.

I don't need a psychiatrist or a hypnotist or a well-meaning elderly woman to tell me that the themes in this dream are obviously the themes that are intricately woven into my normal every day. The themes: CONTROL and FEAR

The control part I do have a shaky handle on. I can usually maintain control of my gaggle and get them to fly in formation with only a raise of my voice and a loud clap or two. It's not a pretty picture and makes me look like a real jerk to the ever-present onlookers. It's all a part of the circus act that we get to perform any time we've flown the nest. Happy to entertain you. I try not to maintain eye contact with the audience. I'm too nervous to look the critics in the eye. I've always been a wimp, which leads to...

Fear. What, you say? Aren't you, like, in your mid-thirties? No. guffaw. Not yet, I'm only 32! I can still be nervous, anxious and preoccupied with what other people think for at least another three years, right? I've always been this way. I don't know if it's a kind of shy or not. I feel fine when I talk to people, meet new people, speak in front of a group. My fear comes after I have put myself out there. I'm just not comfortable in my own skin yet. I really think I inherited this trait from my dad. He's the sweetest, most lovable guy in the world (not that part) but he's plagued with this same sort of social discomfort (that part). It terrifies me to ask some girls to go to lunch with me. This really hinders my ability to move past the acquaintance stage. And I hate that. Yesterday I was moving some of my old scanned photos from recently impaired computer to new, shiny, fast computer (thank you, love) and stopped to glance at a few high school pics. I was surprised that although all of the photos were snapped during happy moments, that sense of nervousness that I felt daily came back in my gut. I don't get it. I had a great time in high school. Of course, everyone feels a sense of insecurity during adolescence, but why would this continue to emerge even now that I'm a bonafide, verified, dignified adult! I'm not ashamed to admit that I've used my kids as pawns to make friends. It's easier to ask another mother if she wants to bring her kids to the park. Somehow it's not so scary. But the day is soon coming when I will need to grow up enough to look someone in the eye and ask them to get to know ME, for a change, (I'll have to come up with better words). Someday soon my kids will not need my help to make friends and arrange playdates. I need to get the nerve and follow their lead.

This so affectionately reminds me of one of my favorite posts of all times. My dear friend Amanda, many of you know, wrote this awesome description of the challenges of making girlfriends. Read it and you're guaranteed a laugh and an epiphany.
http://ajfunuski.blogspot.com/2007/07/shes-just-not-that-into-you.html

And my gosling #2. Ethan, who had a birthday last month, who makes me laugh, who's become surprisingly snugly with me lately, who loved his first swimming lesson, who seems grumpy to everyone that he doesn't know, who has a different character name everyday, who never has to be asked twice to do a job, who drinks like there's no tomorrow, who loves to sing under his breathe when he thinks no one is listening, who is smack dab between Mr. Personality and Miss Sweetie Pie, but nonetheless could never be overlooked because of his own ultra-coolness and mega-watt endearingness. I am so glad you are mine.

Not Enough

2008-05-05T08:33:00.000-07:00

Today has started out on a sobering note. A phone call, not a long one, not as long as it should have been. Just a quick summary. There is a woman I have become acquainted with at my church. It's hard for me to put in words how I feel about her. We are not particularly close. I don't know why: different stage of life, different ages of kids, just haven't had the right set of circumstances to get to spend much time together.

Regardless, from the moment I met her, I felt this admiration for her. She has this something about her, in her face, in the way she talks, in how she lives her life. She emanates this sort of light, I kid you not. She is calming. She seems to be without judgment. Her face exudes kindness. And she has it together... I don't mean her house, appearance, talents. I mean she so has her priorities in the right place. I have watched seemingly insignificant things that she does and says and have thought, wow, she is so someone I want to be like.

And today this woman on the phone confesses her sadness over a son. As every mother does, she worries for her children. She says flat out that she doesn't know what she's done wrong, what mistake she's made with him. And even jokingly adds that the poor kid even got her DNA. I try to tell her that its not her. I inadequately try to tell her what I believe- that the Lord knows her. He knows her heart, her talents, her abilities, and who's to say there isn't a reason why this particular child was chosen to come to her home, because of who she is. Frustratingly, she says, well you're a good friend. She changes the subject as she always does when anything is being said about her. She's not a look-at-me, talk-about-my-life, kind of person. So respectfully, I let the conversation close and we hang up.

Then I cry. In my laundry room, I'm crying. Why? Because I don't have the words to tell her. Because I'm not a good friend. I didn't get my message across. But mostly I'm crying because this woman that I love doesn't see herself for who she really is. She doesn't see all of the things that the rest of us see. She doesn't think she's enough.

I wonder how many times our Father in Heaven feels this same way. How often his heart hurts when we are hard on ourselves, discouraged with who we are, don't think we are enough. How he must want to scream sometimes, don't you see! Won't you see what I see when I look at you?

As mothers, we do this. Everything our kids do from the sandbox to the classroom, we internalize, peronalize, think it is a reflection of us. The saying, 'You are only as happy as your saddest child' is true because we feel such responsibility. And it can make us discouraged. And this doesn't stop when our kids become adults, as I have learned from my family. As a mother you continue to worry and feel responsible for the lives of your children.

So what do we do with this? I haven't a clue. But I marvel at how much we learn from existing with our families. How we love, rejoice, and mourn about our children teaches us how our own Father must feel about us. Of course we must do our best. We must listen, stay in tune, and do our very best. And when that falls short, we can't carry that burden. That's just too much. I believe the atonement took care of these human mistakes too. The ones we don't mean to make, don't recognize, can't help. They can be healed too.

One thing's for sure, from being a mom I have learned that I can't do it alone. I can't. It's too big, too heavy a responsibility. I feel so small and inadequate when considering the task at hand. I fall short daily, I really do. When i say I need divine help, I mean it. I need the small whisperings to teach me how to teach my little ones- what to say, how to say it, and when the opportunity sneaks up and they are really listening. I need the reminders to tell them the most important things, that I fiercely love them, that their Father in Heaven knows them and also loves them, that because they have so much love, they can reach out and help, share and love others. I need help to reign in my impatience and fight for calm. I need the nudge to put away my own selfish pursuits to focus on them and the fleeting time that I have an influence. So, yes I realize that I'm not enough. But I can be with a little help. And that is the way it was meant to be. Hope.

Happy Mother's Day this week

two of my projects, as of late...

2008-04-10T21:37:00.000-07:00

1)

2)

This bathroom has been a work in progress for a very long time now. Still deciding on if this is the right color or not, which explains the tags. I still want to hang a colorful pretty dish/dishes on the wall. I also cleaned out and reorganized my way too tiny closet that I share with my husband. Just loved the feeling of hauling those bags to the Goodwill. Aaah. More space.

Also, a little evening torture.

Ethan calls it 'wesso-ing', but looks like torture to me.

They all enjoy this a little too much. The boys try to get at me during the day, and its all I can do to swat them away. By the time their dad gets home, its so pent up, they are ready to blow.

I just don't get it.

But, isn't he cute?

And a fat lip.

The boys decided on Sunday evening that it would be a great idea to pile as many pillows as they could find in the house at the bottom of the stairs, and then leap onto them from the top stair. Malynn, tragically thought it looked fun, and took her leap a fraction of a second after Dallin, bringing her teeth through her lip. She's a tough girl.

And what is the fascination with my toiletries? And my shoes?

Happy Birthday, Malynn

2008-03-12T23:54:00.000-07:00

To my sweet daughter...

I love you baby girl. Two years already, and I wouldn't have missed a day. You are magic.

SNOW!

2008-03-08T21:33:00.000-08:00

This is what happens when two desert boys come upon snow, real snow, sticking-to-the-ground-snow. You'd think they'd been taken to Disneyland.

They didn't care that they didn't have any snow clothes. We don't even own hats, gloves or boots for any of our children. They didn't even care that they weren't wearing socks. They were definitely a little shocked with the actual coldness of the snow. It doesn't quite feel like the snow that Ethan's preschool teacher made for the class with her snow cone machine.

Needless to say, an all out snow brawl ensued between Dallin, Ethan and Jamie.

Eventually Grandma tore through her coat closet and found whatever snow paraphernalia she could, and they took to the slopes, or the small hill in Grandma's backyard. I had to stand at the bottom of the hill so the kids didn't slide right off the cliff.

I wish I'd taken a picture of Malynn. She was right in there with the boys. She wanted to ride the sled as many times as she could. We'd just plop her on by herself and give it a shove. She wasn't heavy enough to tumble. She just hung on for dear life until one of us caught her at the end.

Now Dallin and Ethan just can't understand why we don't live in this cool place. Dallin asked me today if we could move there. I've tried to convince him that it's so fun to be able to go to the park in January and wear short sleeves in March. He's not sold yet.

Traveling with Kids

2008-03-04T15:04:00.001-08:00

Top Ten Necessary Evils of Traveling with Kids:

1. Packing for a weekend trip still requires three whole suitcases.

2. Airport security (shoes off everyone, fold up stroller, no full sippy cups, people rolling their eyes... thankfully we drove this one.)

3. Being woken up too early.

4. Eating fast food too often.

5. Not getting to go out to an adult movie ('adult' meaning non-animated... don't get too excited.)

6. Always needing a backpack full of diapers, wipes, binky, goldfish crackers, Nintendo DS, hand sanitizer, three small sweatshirts, and camera when we go out for the day.

7. Yelling, "Sit in your seat and put your seatbelt back on!" way too often.

8. Finding pieces of unidentifiable food under the carseats.

9. Cruising the aisles of small, snobby grocery stores with three children asking for everything from Cheetos to Root Beer while organic single people give you dirty looks.

10. Not being able to lay out and read at the beach. Remember those days?

Top Ten Reasons Not to Leave the Kids Behind:

1. It's so much more magical to view the ocean through the eyes of a child.

2. The simple things are where its at, such as bike rides, walks, and catching sand crabs.

3. There is no better reward for good behavior than a gelato at the end of the day.

4. Watching your children laugh, run, and imagine together and know that at this moment, they are each other's best friend.

5. Waking up early forces you to not waste the day away. We jam so much fun into each day, that at the end we are exhausted and very happy.

6. Putting the kids down before 8:00. The rest of the evening is ours.

7. No on-call, pagers, cell phones, and email.

8. Feeling such pride when smiling people ask me if those are my three adorable children. Thinking to myself, yes, they are adorable, aren't they?

9. Having unhurried, uninterrupted, undistracted time with each other. We have nowhere we have to go, no one we have to call, no place we have to be. We can lay on the lawn answering all of Dallin's questions, slide down the slide a few more times, add more bubbles to the bubble bath.

10. Realizing over and over again why it all matters, who I do it all for, the most important thing in my world... my family.

These pictures were all taken at Corona del Mar in February.

Howdy!

2008-02-21T09:43:00.001-08:00

Those of you that aren't from Tucson might not know about Rodeo Days. For two days, the entire city of Tucson closes down for this holiday that I'd never heard of until we moved here. The kids are out of school, there is a huge parade that is the largest non-motorized parade in the country(don't get too excited, it basically means a lot of horses and stagecoaches), and of course, barrell-riding and rodeos. There are all the standard cowboy grub of hotdogs, baked beans, kettle korn, you name it. The kids especially love Wednesday, the day before the break, when they get to dress up as cowboys and cowgirls to school and do all sorts of rootin'-tootin' activities. Here are a couple of clips of Dallin's Rodeo program at the school. Dallin was surprisingly into it and very excited to sport a hat, bandana and fake mustache to school. Malynn was very excited to see Dallin on stage. She yelled at him over and over until the music started. Ethan also wore some cowboy garb to preschool Wednesday morning.

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sweet sorrow

2008-02-14T21:41:00.000-08:00

I lost my grandmother this week.

Sweet, wonderful woman… I adore you, I admire you, I love you.

I could never tell you enough how I feel about you. I tried the last time I talked to you, the day that you passed. I whispered in the phone how much I loved you. How much I would miss you. I heard your feeble response. I knew you heard me, that you were trying to throw those loving words back to me, as you always did…

And I’ve never felt so far away from home. I wanted to reach through the phone and hold your hand, rub your feet, brush your hair.

You are the beginning of everything that I am today. I aspire to be the woman that you are. You gave me direction, you instilled hope in me, you had more confidence in me than I had in myself. I wanted to be the person you saw in me. I still do.

I am so happy for you. I know that you so wanted to be with your sweetheart… that you’ve missed your mother for decades… that you’ve been trapped in that painful body far too long. I am happy for you. But my chest hurts when I think that I can’t call you up anymore, tell you my funny story, hear you say you’re proud of me. I cried today in the car when I realized that I won’t walk through that door anymore to that wonderful little home of yours and see you sitting in that chair as if waiting to see who would walk through next to come see you. The twinkle in your eye, that broad smile, the radiance of love that was uniquely yours... to say I will miss you is a vast understatement. You are a part of me and without you here, I will always carry a sense of homesickness with me.

This will be the last of the whining and complaining. You never did that. And I know those thoughts are selfish. As my grandfather once said of you:

“I love her with all of my heart and soul. Upon the wind of her spirit have my wings been carried.”

Your spirit has carried all of us for a long time. It will not be easy to be separated from you. I miss you already. I love you. I look forward to the day that I will see your shining face again and feel your much stronger arms around me.

You've Gotta Love 'Im

2008-02-06T16:41:00.001-08:00

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Vote

2008-02-05T11:22:00.000-08:00

Get out and vote, y'all. Today's the day. It's easy. Do it.

A Date?

2008-01-28T15:58:00.000-08:00

I think my son Dallin just got asked out on his first date. Mind you, he's six and still in kindergarten. It went something like this... I answered the phone and a young girl nervously asked, "Hi. Is Dallin there?" I think I heard a giggle and her voice blush (is that possible?) When I asked who she was, she told me, "Cambpell" or "Camel" or something like that. I know there isn't a girl in his class with that name, so I inquired and found out she was in a different kindergarten class. So I hand the phone over to Dallin and listen to his side of the conversation where plans are being made. I hear him say, "yes, I can come...today?... yeah, my mom will bring me... oh. okay." Then he turns to me and says, "Mom, do you know where Chili's is?" I guffaw. "The restaurant?" He turns to the phone and asks, "Is that a restaurant?" then "Yeah, it's a restaurant, mom." Duh. Then, with an extreme amount of coolness, he asks if his little brother can come. She apparently consents, and Dallin hands the phone over to Ethan to talk. After Ethan confirms his invitation, he hands the phone over to me. I'm still like, what the...? Then there is a lady's voice on the phone who is Soup's grandmother. She says she didn't know about the plans since she was in the other room.

Let me proceed by painting a different scenario that happened last week. Dallin asked if he could have a playdate one day after school. We called a couple of boys in his class and neither were home. So then he asks if we can call Clare, a girl in his class. Now, as far as I can tell, Dallin doesn't seem to care yet if a friend is a girl or a boy. He has friends of each sex that he is equally close to in our ward. So, I wasn't surprised he asked about Clare. I've met her and her mother at school, she sits on his table and doesn't treat him like he's obnoxious. She seems very nice. Since I had spoken with her mother at length one day, I thought it would probably be fine; her mother probably sensed that not only am I not a psychopath, but that I'm nice person, right? Apparently not. Clare's mother not only hesitated for an uncomfortable amount of time, but then asks me if she can call me back. Fine, fine. Checking things out, okay. Then she calls back and says that Clare would love to come, but that she would be coming too. Huh? Playdate with mother too? What am I supposed to say? No, you can't come because I was planning on finishing my laundry and am currently sitting in the middle of five loads of clean clothes needing to be folded. So rather than having a fun, relaxed afternoon with the kids, I get to sit and visit with Clare's mom. Odd. I'm new to the playdate thing. I don't really know how it works. So I'm throwing this question out there to all my cybermoms. Is this how it normally works? If so, was it because it was a boy/girl situation, or does this happen regardless?

I am not sure if I'm ready for this little boy to grow up. I'm not ready for his life to become more complicated, or my own for that matter.

my list

2008-01-22T23:40:00.000-08:00

So it's another close to another day. And yet, I'm not ready to call it a night, to crawl in my sheets and force my eyes to close. I just never feel that I've had enough of today. A couple of days ago, I had a conversation with a friend of mine that has stayed on my mind. In short, we talked about how important it is to spend some time with our children when we are unhurried. I've noticed lately how task oriented I've become. I just don't want my children to remember me always trying to get something done, but never actually sitting with them on the couch, in their bed, on the floor. It really doesn't take much, to find those opportunities to let life slip for a moment, let the task go undone for another few minutes, and just be there... really be there. How else will they ever really see who I am? How else will they know that I hear them? How else will they understand that they matter to me above all else? When I look at my life in this way, I see how important these monotonous days really are. I know that they won't remember if there was always a pile of laundry in the basket. They will, however, keep the impression I leave of whether I was happy, whether I was proud of them, and whether they felt loved.

So in that light, at the close of another day, here's what I did today that really did matter.

1. I danced with my daughter. It was only for a minute as we crossed in the hall and there was no music, but it made her smile.

2. I praised Ethan for how helpful he was in lifting my groceries onto the belt at the grocery store. I told him that he was a true hero, because he helped someone. I could have imagined it, but I swear I saw his little chest puff up about an inch.

3. I told Dallin how much his little sister missed him while he was at school. When he asked me what she said, I told a little white lie and said that she always asks, 'where's Dallin, where is he?' I teared up a little when I watched him through the rear view mirror sigh and then throw his arms around her neck and squeeze her in her car seat.

And none of these things were on my list.

In a funk

2008-01-11T09:44:00.001-08:00

That's the only word I can think of that tells how I feel this morning. Once in awhile I feel this way. I just don't want to do anything. It all seems to not matter much. The laundry, the clean dishes in my dishwasher, the unmade bed. It will all by there again tomorrow if I do it today. Mostly when I get this way, I just feel worse because of the guilt. I know I should be motivated, get things done, get ready and go out. It will make me feel better and I have so much to be grateful for. This is what I tell myself and I know that it's true. Yet, right now, I'd rather just sit here and rebel and just not do it. Being a mom is hard, everyone says it, but no one tells you how it's hard in such a different way than anything else that is hard. Its hard because so often you feel like you aren't doing anything important. Sometimes you feel like you're always doing what you ought to be doing and not what you want to do. When I have a moment of freedom, when I'm out with my husband or by myself for a couple of hours, I get this euphoric high. The freedom makes me feel like a teenager again, like I'm invincible and full of life. I need that every so often, and of course I feel badly that I do. Being home with my little people, sometimes I just need to be alone! I've always been like this. At my home growing up I just adored my room. I loved to go there and shut my door and just be by myself. I would stay up late just because I loved that time and I wasn't ready for it to end. Many times I went for hikes up the local canyons by myself with a book or a journal. I would get that euphoric feeling and come home totally filled up again. After high school I went to live in Seattle for a summer with my aunt and uncle. I remember they had to go out of town for a week. It sounds strange, but i just absolutely loved knowing that I was in a state where I didn't know anybody, I didn't know where anything was, and I was totally alone. It was up to me to orient myself and find adventure. I did just that and I felt invincible. Yesterday, a friend of mine told me a funny story about how her kids were fighting and looking for her and she hid in her closet. She said they called their Dad who then called her on her cell phone. When he asked her where she was, she said, "I'm in the closet." I laughed so hard because I know that feeling so well. I thought it was so great that she just found her closet, probably the only corner in her whole house she could be alone, and crawled right in. My family, I love them dearly, but once in awhile I just need to have some time by myself. Maybe that makes me a little strange, but I'm running on empty today and I need a fill-up.

funny little elves

2007-12-19T20:18:00.000-08:00

So silly and slightly obnoxious, but we got a few laughs out of it at our children's expense.

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1591797871

Of course we couldn't stop there... and I bet you won't either.

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1592223869

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-12T10:13:00.000-08:00

This is always my very favorite time of year. I still get that burning excitement every day like I did as a child during the month of December. I love to pile my kids in the car and drive slowly through the neighborhoods to see the beautiful lights people have put up. I love assembling the annual gingerbread house with my kids. I love making Christmas cookies, sitting by the tree and a fire with a good book, and singing carols at the top of my lungs in my car. I don't think I will ever grow out of it. As I see my children discover the Christmas spirit, the magic is just as real as ever. Dallin asked me yesterday if he would ever get to play in the snow again. I tell him about the Christmases when he did get to go outside in the snow, make snowmen and snowangels. He doesn't really remember it. There is good and bad to being in Tucson during the holidays. For one, the first time I took them around our neighborhood to look at lights, I was riding my bike with Malynn and Ethan in our trailer. I cracked up yesterday at Target when I saw people running from their cars into Target in the rain. Some people were wearing their rarely used scarves and hats and others splashed through the puddles in shorts and flip-flops (which are worn all year long here.) During Thanksgiving time, we would open the windows so the house would be cool enough to warrant a fire in the fireplace! Still, when the temperatures dip into the 40s, we love to pretend that we are living in a winter wonderland. People here go all out to decorate for Christmas, even going so far as to lighting up the cacti! It may not quite feel like home, but I love it all the same.

Sunday

2007-11-25T21:03:00.000-08:00

A Little Catching Up

2007-11-20T23:16:00.000-08:00

Just a few photos of my loves these last few weeks. Time is just flying by. We're a little worried about this new diet that Jamie's been trying out. It's called Belly for Life. Anyone heard of it?

Notice the little pink necklace that Ethan is wearing at Disneyland? Well, anyone that knows Ethan also knows his love for all things chocolate. He loves chocolate so much that he is pretty loyal to the candy and won't settle for anything else. So... when Dallin gave him this necklace on our trip, Ethan not only wouldn't eat it, but also wouldn't take it off... for three whole days! Finally, I had to force it off of him one morning because it was disintegrating. For the next two days of our trip, Ethan had a rosy tinge all around his neck. It was awful; he seriously looked like he'd been abused.

Dallin absolutely loved meeting the characters at Disneyland and having them sign his autograph book. Ethan wasn't so trusting. He would barely get close enough for a picture most of the time. Malynn loved all of them that didn't look human. She wanted to hug and kiss all the creatures, but as soon as she saw Wendy and Peter Pan, she couldn't get away fast enough. Go figure.

On a scale of 1 to 10, Dallin rated every ride a solid infinity.

Wonderful, wonderful trip.
I love these people I get to share life with.

Bubbly

2007-09-28T00:03:00.000-07:00

I've been awake for a while now
you've got me feelin like a child now
cause every time i see your bubbly face
i get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go.

-Colbie Caillat "Bubbly"

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

To blog or not to blog... That is the question.

2007-08-26T14:59:00.000-07:00

I know, I haven't posted for awhile. I'm trying to decide if I'm really a blog kind of person. I don't think I am. Here are a couple of my many reasons.

#1. I am innately a very private person. I don't like to talk about my personal life to just anyone. I've always been this way and that's why I've always had a fairly small group of friends. Who am I kidding? Besides my close girlfriends from childhood, I don't really claim any group. I only have a couple of individual friends that I've grown close to and feel comfortable with. Other than that, it's just my family...my dear close family that I need more and more the older I get. So, this privacy thing sort of limits what I want to write about, leaving this blog with a sort of impersonal small-talk feeling. Which leads me to...

#2. I hate small talk. It's exhausting and draining. Relationships never pan out for me unless they can cut through it pretty quick. I'm just not a weather/sports/whatcha up to these days kind of gal.

#3. I'm aware that I'm spending too much time these days sitting in front of screens... my computer, TV, Dallin's new Nintendo DS. I'm always complaining to myself that I don't have enough time for the things that I really want to be doing. When really, I think the problem is that I'm wasting so much time on media. I enjoy it, don't get me wrong, but I hate the power it has to just suck me in. I can't tell you how many mornings I saunter over to my computer just to check my email in my pjs with my cereal bowl in hand. The next thing I know, I'm trying to find things to occupy my children's time so I can continue to surf. Such a time suckage for me and I think it's time I start exercising a little more self-control.

Okay, so that's all I can think of right now. I just thought I needed to give a little explanation to why I seem to drop off the planet once in awhile. I'm not sure how long I will keep blogging. Just need a little break from all the noise in my life. Which leads to an interesting question. I would love to know how any of you cut out some of the noise in your lives. Doen't life need to be a little simpler? Any suggestions, please?

All it takes is a little music

2007-08-02T23:18:00.000-07:00

Can you believe how fast she just changed moods? Woah. So what do you guys think? If we keep at it, you think Malynn could be a viable candidate for 'So You Think You Can Dance 2024?' Jamie filmed this after Dallin finished opening his birthday presents on Tuesday night, so don't mind the mess! Oh, and I have to warn you... plug your ears for the first few seconds... or don't and see what it's like living in my world.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

And here's the birthday boy. We had our small family party on Tuesday night and just finished up with another party for his friends tonight. He had a blast and I was so proud of how grown up he was behaving. It was a good day for a mom.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Those were some pretty funky candles!

"When you are a mother yourself, then you'll know how much I love you."

2007-07-31T13:11:00.001-07:00

This is another phrase that I heard my mother say often as a teenager. At the time, I'm sure I had no clue what she was talking about. It's funny, but the day that I gave birth to Dallin, my first-born, I thought about that phrase and immediately knew. Here I was, holding this tiny, perfect body in my arms, a body that I had felt squirming and bumping inside me, and I was overwhelmed with a feeling that I had never felt before. I have always been surrounded by people that love me, but in that instant I began to understand love in an entirely different way. This love was boundless, never-ending, and almost hurt. It crossed my mind that day, 'How could my mother love me like this?' And the love I had for my own mother amplified.

I can't believe how often now I think back to how my mother did things. To me, she had the perfect balance of being firm with us and having patience, something that I find a daily struggle. So here are a few things that I really appreciate about my mom and the way that she parented me.

1. She always encouraged my reading, even if I was ducking out of helping with the dishes after dinner. She took me to the library as a child. She bought me book after book during my silly obsession with preteen paperback series. She didn't even get mad at me when I got into trouble at school for having a questionable Judy Blume book that had some pretty steamy scenes. She was excited for me in college when I brought home my new books for my upcoming classes. She also gave me courage when I first talked to her about pursuing a master's degree, but didn't know if I was smart enought to get into the program. I am so grateful to her for this gift that I truly feel she gave me.

2. My mother always had my back. I always knew that she loved me, that she thought I was special, that I was capable to do anything I wanted even when my own insecurities battled in my mind. When did she do this? When did she have time? I remember her tucking me in many nights and laying down next to me for a few minutes to have a talk. She would tell me wonderful stories about myself that almost sounded true. She helped me see that I was good, kind, worthy. That she had the thought to do that, to take the time to come in and talk with me, even on the days when I wasn't talking back much, and teach me about who I was deep down... I can't believe it and I don't know how to thank her. Reflecting back on it now, that may be why I always had such a liking for my room. I loved the feeling of safety and love that I had there.

3. She taught me how to be a girl well. She taught me simple old-fashioned rules such as not to call boys, let them call you. She taught me that it was a bad idea to get exclusive with one boy because it only limited the friends that I could make. She'd say, "You have the rest of your life to be with one man that you choose. Why give that privilege to someone now that you're not even married to." Even though I'm sure I made a couple of boys angry, I did hate calling anyone my boyfriend. Deep down, I did think she was right. I didn't want to sign myself over to someone and hated the thought that someone would believe that I belonged to him. Anyway, I'm glad she taught me these things; it always gave me a sense of control. She also taught me how a girl can always look beautiful and feminine while still being modest. I know I tried to push the envelope a bit, but I'm grateful that she helped me dress the way I wanted and find my own style while still being classy.

4. She always encouraged me to pursue my own interests. Being the only girl in a family of boys would have been tricky if I'd had a different mother. What would I have turned out like if my mom had tried to make me do all of the same things my brothers wanted to do? I'm so glad she supported me and let me lead out with my own interests. I did enjoy skiing like my brothers, but hated the inadequacey I felt on the soccer field and the tennis court. I loved dance and at a point filled four days of my week in one studio or another. Again, reading was another hobby, and my mother was the one that showed me how I could earn some money to travel to Europe to actually see the place where Anne Frank hid. I never would have thought that possible at that age, but she always showed me that anything was possible if you're willing to make a plan and do the work.

5. "You don't have to love me, but you have to respect me." Another one of mom's classics. My mom was always good to teach us how you talk to those in your family. We were not allowed to talk back to our parents (I remember picking soap out of my teeth at school one morning) or to yell mean things to each other. Although just like any other family, we fought and had moments where we seriously could have injured one another, Mom did set a standard of respect in our home that we knew we couldn't cross (at least when she was around.) To this day, I love my brothers so much and have so much respect for them even though we are all very different from each other. We banter and tease each other like crazy, but there is a deep underlying feeling of respect and love for one another. We never hesitate to say the words 'I love you' on the phone and we just have a blast when we get together.

I could go on... I should go on...but my fingers are starting to hurt and the munchkins are soon to wake up. So, I just want to say, I love you mom. I think I now understand. I just hope that I can turn around and give to my children the same wonderful gifts that you have given me. I am so grateful. What if you hadn't done what you did? What if you had chosen to spend your time and energy elsewhere? I certainly don't know how it all would have turned out. We needed you so much, and even now as I'm suppossed to be an adult,
I need you still.

I'm not one of those moms

2007-07-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not one of those moms that loves to explore the artistic abilities of her children. I don't embrace mess, even though I'm surrounded by it all day. The thought of play dough makes my heart palpitate. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE the idea of my children participating in the arts. I love the projects they bring home from school. I just don't love it near my kitchen. I have enough trouble just getting last night's yams off of the high chair. When Malynn caught sight of Dallin working on a painting today, nothing could keep her off the table. Realizing that her will is stronger than mine, I took a deep breath and let her loose. The girl loved it. She had such a look of satisfaction on her face as she watched the paint swirl around on her leg. I guess I need to loosen up a bit. Please tell me that this non-toxic paint doesn't stain. Please.

I had a sad realization today that this is the only decent photo taken of me this year. I was trying to find a closer one of my face for a different project and couldn't find a single one! I guess I need to hand the camera over to someone else once in awhile. I need to stop ducking when Jamie has the camera. Don't I want my children to remember what I looked like?

A Love Note

2007-07-16T21:19:00.000-07:00

The highlight of my entire day occurs the moment I hear the hum of the garage door opening. Not long after, in walks a man with a huge grin on his face-- and all chaos breaks in our house. "DADDDDYYYYYY!!!!" You'd think they hadn't seen him in years. Though he is tired, no doubt, after working a sometimes 12-hour day, he immediately drops the armful of mail and drops to his knees. I watch the loud tackle from the kitchen, my usual station at that time of day. The scowl on my face from trying to assemble some sort of fresh, healthy dinner with all the monkeys jumping about at my feet immediately changes. I can't help it. I wait patiently for the primates to finish wrestling and the hugs to dissipate, so that I can creep in and have my turn.

This man just lets the sun in. His day is full, indeed, before he's even walked through our door. His day of dealing with other doctors, teaching med students, listening to ailing patients, and talking with concerned family members, and the responsibility to be at the top of his game is a lot for him to carry. But somehow, he manages to shed that pressure for a moment when he walks through that door. Somehow, he knows just what we need-- his time, his smile, his approval, and more of his waning energy. And he gives us more.

Jamie, this is a love note to you.

My Daughter

2007-07-12T08:02:00.000-07:00

Just a few photos I took of lovely Malynn a couple of days ago. (The boys were protesting having their pictures taken). I've been enjoying watching her develop her own personality. She tries so earnestly to communicate and I'm surprised every day by how much I do understand her. Her hair is starting to grow a little and it's curly in the back. She walks fast and is very busy. She also loves to eat, loves her binky and blankie, and loves her mom (yeay).

Before I had any children, I secretly wanted boys. Honestly, I was a little afraid of having a daughter. For one, I grew up with only boys, so feel very comfortable around them. It seems around the age of 13, girls go into this weird alternate universe where they hate their mothers. I know most come out of it after a few years, but the thought of having someone rolling their eyes at me, treating me like I was the absolute, most ridiculous person that ever walked the planet, and giving me responses like, "You just don't understand me," gives me anxiety. Boys, with all their volume and rowdiness, just seem simpler. There is something about having a daughter that I didn't expect. The way she holds her hands, the way she smiles at me, the way she sighs when she puts her head on my shoulder... her femininity makes my heart sing. There is something special between a mother and a daughter. I look at her and I just get her. My boys, as much as I love them and their energy, just bewilder me. So, I'm grateful to have her and hope that she will always want to be close to me. But I am going to start now with the brainwashing that she can't turn psycho on me. Suggestions, anyone?

Will you carry me?

2007-07-11T14:24:00.000-07:00

A funny thing happened today. "Carry me," Ethan said again and then again. My little man Ethan who is the least likely of my three to give me any physical affection, wanted me to hold him. It wasn't because we were going somewhere, he was tired, or his feet hurt. He just wanted me to hold him for awhile. When I picked him up his three-year old body immediately took the position that he used to prefer when he was a baby- head on my shoulder, arms tucked in between his belly and my chest. It was great and I loved it immensely, but only for a moment. Then the guilt came (is this from being a mom, or is it just being me). I began wondering if Ethan wasn't getting enough attention being so closely smacked between a very demanding older brother and his baby sister. Was he not a baby long enough? Am I expecting him to behave like his brother too often? Do I not single him out enough and give him the one-on-one that he deserves. He has always been a fairly independent little soul, something that reminds me of myself. The fact escapes me sometimes that he is still very, very young. As a mom, I try to always remember to tell each of my children how much I love them every day, something that I don't think they can hear too often. "Have I told you yet today how much I love you?" I heard this countless times as a child from my own mother. I can't even think of the question without hearing her tone of voice saying it. As I grew older, I rolled my eyes and groaned, "Mom." But inside I believed her. And I always felt loved. I hope I can do as good of a job. That really is my main purpose... to teach them that they matter, that they are worth more than anything to me and to their Father in heaven, and that they are deeply, fiercely loved.
I love you, Ethan...

and whenever you need it...yes, I will carry you.

15 Things I Love About My Kids This Week

2007-07-05T23:22:00.000-07:00

1. I've been told by fellow church members that Dallin is their favorite child to watch in the music numbers because you never know what he's going to do.

2. Ethan thanked me for his apple juice, and I thanked him for thanking me, telling him that it makes me happy in my heart to hear him say 'thank you'. He responded that it was because apple juice makes him 'happy in his tummy.'

3. When I sing, Malynn will join in with me with no words or melody, but a sweet pitch nonetheless. I love it.

4. The first thing Dallin asked me this morning while wiping the sleep from his eyes was,"Mom, when can we ever buy a flute?" Just one of the many random things that he comes up with.

5. Ethan asks several times a day to watch family videos and to see his family pictures on the computer. He seems to love seeing all of us together.

6. Malynn can wag a finger at her brothers and give them a mouthful of babble when they are going to do something I told them not to do.

7. Ethan will literally do anything for chocolate.

8. Dallin will literally do anything for money, yet won't ever spend it on anything.

9. Malynn will smile, wave and say hi to every stranger we pass in the grocery store.

10. Dallin loves to share anything he has (or anything Ethan has, despite his loud protest) with his beloved sister. "Because she wants it..." is the reason he gives.

11. Ethan will loudly say "Iwuvyou, mom," several times a day for no apparent reason.

12. Malynn loves to jig, and her jig is to die for cute.

13. This week Dallin has begun to create his new invention he calls his "Do Anything For Me 3000" which apparently will have a button called 'fix food' as well as buttons for flying and making him invisible. He's already drawn up the plans. (He woke up yesterday asking me if I had any metal.) Can't wait to see it.

14. Ethan will not give kisses freely, so I've had to conjure up different ways to 'kiss' him (e.i. butterfly kiss, Eskimo kiss, polar bear kiss and cheeky kiss. The last two are uniquely ours.) Although he will spontaneously lay his head on my lap any moment he feels particularly happy.

15. Malynn loves to growl and uses that sound with a smile to name any animal or insect.

All of these photos were taken this afternoon after we headed to our local zoo's water station to escape the 111 degree heat. We had the place all to ourselves. The water felt wonderful.

I'll Decide

2007-06-29T23:53:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this is so funny to me. Ethan and Dallin were having a gay 'ol time riding in the tube until Dallin notices that Ethan isn't doing the 'thumbs up' gesture quite right. So, being the good older brother that he is, he tries to show Ethan the correct way. Ethan, being the Ethan that he is, totally ignores Dallin and continues with the pointer finger. It was serving it's purpose just fine by making the point that he wanted to go faster. Dallin gave up eventually. I had to laugh whan I noticed Ethan sitting by himself today working with his fingers, figuring out how to get that dang thumb up there. All on his own, he figured it out. Reminds me of his father, who's classic comeback for everything is "I'll decide."

Here are a few more pics of our trip to Bear Lake for your viewing pleasure.

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Miss Malynn

2007-06-29T12:50:00.000-07:00

The older this child gets the more comments I receive about her looking like me. I'm not sure if I agree, although I have always seen something very familiar in her. As she has grown older there have been other traits- her love for music, her sway and head pop anytime she hears a beat, her twirling when she has a skirt on, and then I must mention her strong ability to protest any harassment from her brothers (something I am still quite adept at, I must say). Well, she surprised me for the first time. While we were at Bear Lake, Cody brought his dog over to hang out. I was shocked at Malynn's reaction. She was drawn to that dog like you couldn't believe. I couldn't help but remember the times at Liz's house in Salt Lake when we were little girls jumping on her tramp. Pepper, the Blundells' harmless dog, would jump up on the tramp and run around excitedly on the pads. I don't know what I thought, but all I could do was run crying into her house praying that Pepper wasn't on my heels. Which of course takes me back also to the memories of jumping off the school bus at Rackers' house and frantically running for my life with the Butlers' dog Brittany (who wasn't so harmless) barking, nipping at my heels and hair all the way up the hill to my home. I hated that dog. Now, here is my mini-me with not only courage, but an absolute adoration for animals- all animals, it seems (even bugs, or dust particles that fly through the sunlight that she thinks are bugs). It's not that I don't like animals, I just don't have that certain gene that makes someone whine awwwwww when one is around. It might be due to my father's highly sensitive allergies of all animals with hair, fur and feathers-- which is the reason we never had a pet (okay, Cory had many various reptiles over the years, but I never claimed them as my own.) Maybe there's something wrong with me (I think Amanda's used the word 'cold' in the past when referring to my relationship with her feline that loved to smell my feet.) All right, so here's my first lesson of many that my daughter is her own person completely separate of myself. I get it.

Happy Father's Day

2007-06-17T12:32:00.001-07:00

For the last ten days, my family has been enjoying a little time in Bear Lake, Utah. Some of you may know that Jamie's family has a cabin on the lake and that it happens to be my husband's favorite place on the planet. Honestly, I don't know if he could have made it through med school without spending most of his summers up there. It is even more fun to go there these days with these little kids of ours. Our boys love it! For the last eight months, Ethan has been waking up early every morning (like 5:30) to come downstairs and wait on our carpet (with his blanket) until he hears Jamie's alarm clock. Then he gets in the shower with him and sits on our counter while Jamie gets dressed for the sole purpose of talking about Bear Lake. They have the same conversation every morning describing in detail all of the things they will do when they get to Bear Lake again. Tractor rides, play on the beach, sailing, four wheelers, roasting marshmellows, jet skiing to Sweetwater for an ice cream, over and over and over... This year he has added to his list of favorite activities since he tried being pulled behind the boat on a tube. I thought he might be scared, since Jamie was going quite fast, but the brave boy only smiled and then wouldn't get off without tears every time. Dallin also loved it and practiced standing in his surfing pose on the tube. I will definitely post some pics when I get home next week. We had a wonderful time catching up with some dear family and friends while we were there. It was perfect!

Our Summer Begins

2007-05-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

Today was Dallin's first day out of school for the summer. I must say I have mixed emotions about it. I have to resign to the fact that my small afternoon snooze must go for now and any extra time for myself to read, scrapbook, brush my teeth will also be very hard to come by. He's just one little boy, but he sure makes a big impact. On the other hand, I'm excited to have my whole brood with me all day too. I plan on jam packing our summer full of fun days out exploring kid-friendly things in the city, as well as spending many hours in our backyard pool. Sleeping in is never an option, and with time for myself dwindling, I spend way too many hours up late. (Do I feel a sore throat coming on?) I'm happy to say his first day home went remarkably well. I started a little summer morning routine for him with an actual list for him to follow. I always hated those from my mom, but this kid loves that kind of stuff. He asked me if I would make him another one for tomorrow morning,then... are you ready for this? He actually thanked me for being his mom. Yeah, I know. I thought I was dreaming too. I absolutely love the age that Dallin is right now. He is so eager to learn anything and asks a million questions. Yet, he is still enough of a little boy that he doesn't know that it isn't cool to kiss your mom. I know the day will come very shortly when he won't climb up in my lap anymore, and I'm dreading it. You know, it really is true. You think they are going to stay small forever, but really, from the moment that umbilical cord is cut, they move further and further into their own separate lives. Truth be told, I will always have days alone in my future, but only now can I enjoy every day with them.

Sour Lemon Gelato

2007-05-24T10:38:00.000-07:00

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Just wanted to see if I could figure out how to upload a video clip. I'm not sure how I got this groovy music playing in the background. This video was taken in January on our weekend excursion to California. We had a blast. I think it accurately portrays how our little Ethan keeps us laughing. He just turned three last month.

2007-05-19T13:02:00.000-07:00

So what does one write about in a blog? I'm sure that's a question bloggers ask themselves every time they sit down. Or maybe their lives are so much more exciting than ours. It's not that my life is boring, by any means. Just busy with things that seem unworthy to write about, unworthy to remember. Yet, I know that down the road when my children are looking at me at eye-level, I will be alarmed by how fast the time has gone and wish I had just one day back-- one day that wasn't so busy. To sit on the grass and watch bugs, to read a book for the fifth time that day, to listen to Ethan sing the same verse of 'Baby Beluga' in the car over and over again...I'm sure that's what I will wish back.

Quote of the day: A couple of weeks ago, Dallin and I were talking about how beautiful the mountains were behind our house. He said, "You know, Heavenly Father really should live here because the mountains are so beautiful." I told him that Heavenly Father already knew that the mountains were beautiful because he is actually the one that made them. Dallin looked at me incredulously and asked, "Heavenly Father made those mountains with hot glue?"

The four loves of my life

2007-05-17T23:51:00.001-07:00

here I go

2007-05-17T22:31:00.000-07:00

Many months ago, I was so inspired reading through Becky's blog and the cute stories about her children. For a moment, like a split-second moment, I thought, "hmmm, I'd like to do that too." Then I realized that under no uncertain terms would I have time for that. Later, looking through Rebecca's and then Liz's cute blogs, I thought about it. I still don't know where you girls find the time, yet I am becoming much more aware of my own inefficiency in time management. Would it really take so much time? After all, I used to be an avid journal writer, and I always found it wonderfully therapeutic. I also mourn about how bad I have been about keeping in touch with people that I care about. Maybe a blog could be an on-line method of doing both. Keeping a journal of the extroardinary and the mundane even if for only me to keep, and also a way to keep my loved ones better informed and connected to my life. So I'm going to try it. I'm quite certain that very few will even care to read about the going-ons in this particular house, but since I enjoyed my three friends blogs so much, why not give it a shot?

The title of my page "I love you pi" is a direct quote from my 5 1/2 year old Dallin. Someone once told him that pi is the longest number, and him being the mathmatician that he is, equates this with being the highest possible number, the last number, the biggest and best number. So when he expresses his feelings for us, he uses the phrase, "I love you pi." It's quite a compliment. And although I have tried to tell him that pi is really only a little more than 3, he looks at me like, 'no mom, you just don't get it.' I never was very good at math.